So Far
by fabianskeeper
Summary: So far nothing has been right in William's life. Daisy has fallen for Thomas and the aforementioned first footman does nothing but lord it over him. Mary's life is equally miserable: with people breathing down her neck every moment, pressuring her into marriage. What happens when these two find common ground?


**Disclaimer:** The BBC and Masterpiece Theater own this... but not for long

**Author's Note:** I was watching Downton Abbey this summer with my best friend, and she said something that sparked a creative urge in me... so here it is:

* * *

William could scarcely believe his ears. 'Would you like to go the fair with me Daisy?' Thomas' words rang in his mind, bouncing of his thoughts and blurring his vision. Why did Thomas have to take everything from him, not that Daisy was his, she was her own person of course, but Thomas didn't even _like_ her!

But why shouldn't Daisy like Thomas over him. He was far better looking and he was the first footman, not the second one. William took a shaky breath and tried to concentrate on walking home from town. He kicked stones and shoved his hands in his pockets, counting from memory the number of chandeliers in the house, doing anything to keep his mind off Daisy's sweet smile and big eyes.

Maybe Thomas was right, he was useless, just a waste of space. Nobody needed him; nobody loved him. William looked up into the sky and wondered what it would be like to be loved by a girl. He felt quite like Lady Edith, alone with no suitors and not quite as good-looking as her as her sisters.

Lady Sybil's head was too in the clouds to realize that even Thomas thought her beautiful. She was the nicest of the three Crawley sisters and was the only one who looked upon the staff of Downton and actually saw them. She always said 'please' and 'thank you' and never spoke harshly to them. Lady Edith on the other hand never looked them in the eyes and always spoke to them as if speaking to someone less fortunate then herself (which was true).

William had always been puzzled by Lady Mary, sometimes she was terribly sweet and nice to the staff and then at the drop of a hat she would snap at them and they would see nothing but fire in her eyes. Lady Mary was stunning, there was no doubt about that, but there was a sadness to her. She seemed to want something that she couldn't have. Her freedom. William had also noticed that she had taken to locking herself in her room lately, O'Brien said that it was because of Mr. Pamuk and how he had died while courting her- well _flirting_ with her.

Maybe it was something else. She was getting older; she was almost 22. William thought it was ridiculous that that was considered 'aged' in the upper class. Mr. Matthew had looked very jealous of all the attention Mary gave Mr. Pamuk. Mr. Napier was envious as well. Edith had told Anna that Mr. Napier and Lady Mary had been writing letters to one another over the past six months. William almost laughed out loud. How disappointing for the girl Mr. Napier had been courting to end up paying more attention to the friend he brought along, then to him.

Thinking about the Crawley's mixed up private affairs always made William feel better about his own. Not that his where broadcasted all over London and Downton. He would be surprised if all the Crawleys actually knew his name. They all knew _Thomas'_ name though. Thomas had entered his mind again, full of resentment and hate. But then he forgot about Thomas again as he realized with delight that Lady Mary knew his name and used it often.

He continued home, a silly grin on his face, finally feeling that he was needed.

†

"Oh Mama, do I have to wear this dress tonight?" Mary said as she gazed at herself in the mirror.

"Mary, it was a gift from Granny and I want you to put it on to make her happy," Cora sighed putting her hands on Mary's shoulders, "Granny loves seeing you in new dresses." Mary sighed irritably.

"Is Granny going to be the only other person at dinner tonight?" She asked dabbing perfume behind her ears.

"Cousin Matthew and Cousin Isobel are coming actually. Mrs. Bird had the night off."

"But I hate it when Granny and Cousin Isobel fight, it's so dull. I wish they would be nice to each other for once." Mary turned to face her mother, her neatly pinned hair staying oddly secured to her hair.

"Well, we will just have to make sure that they don't have a chance to rip each others throats out." Both women laughed.

"Why don't you like Matthew?" Cora asked sitting on Mary's bed and tracing her finger along the designs engraved in the wooden bedpost.

"If you must know I find him rather uninteresting," Mary said making sure her hair was perfect.

"What about Sir Anthony Strallan?" Cora pondered aloud. Mary wheeled around.

"Oh no, Mother! You cannot be serious! He's older than Papa."

"Well it was a thought," Cora rubbed the back of her neck, clearly embarrassed, "But we have to find you a nice man who is willing to marry you regardless of your situation."

"Mother do we have to talk about this now? We have to go down to dinner…" Mary looked at the reflection of her mother as she spoke.

"Mary, you do realize that if word ever gets out about Mr. Pamuk, London will slam its doors on you?"

"Yes of course Mother, I do realize that, of course I do! I just don't see the point of finding a duke or an earl to marry me. I wish I could choose…" Mary stood up facing Cora, who could tell that one of her "moods" was coming on.

"Mary," Cora began carefully, "No one is saying that you can't choose your husband. We're just urging you to choose quickly, to be safe."

"And what if I don't like him? What if he beats me? Am I 'safe' then? I don't think choosing a husband quickly is a good idea. I could end up being miserable. I would have a better chance of being happy if I ran away with William or Thomas!"

"Don't you dare take that tone of voice with me, or ever speak of the servants that way! Whomever either of those two marry will be lucky girls. But that isn't the point, you need to marry, and soon. Please just think about it." Cora kissed Mary's cheek and left the room.

Mary slowly sunk down to her vanity's matching chair and a silent tear rolled out of her eye. Everything was Matthew this and Matthew that… Matthew, Matthew, Matthew! She was sick of him being here, sick of him being in their lives! She wanted him to leave their family alone.

She had to admit he was smart and very unusual; he was a lawyer after all. But he was a Crawley, so she had to rule him out. And sometimes Mary couldn't help think that she hungered for something _more_ unusual than Matthew.

She wiped her tears with a handkerchief and stood. She checked her reflection in the mirror and adjusted her dress. Mary smiled, satisfied. Then she walked downstairs breathing deeply.

As she stepped into the drawing room she found that her entire family was waiting for her.

"I thought we would have to have dinner without you," Robert smiled at his daughter and then said, "Dearest, let's not keep Carson waiting." Mary saw that Matthew was smiling at her. She glared back.

†

Conversation at dinner that night was minimal. Mostly because neither the Dowager Countess nor Lady Isobel wanted to speak to each other or anyone else at the table. Mr. Matthew tried to engage Lady Mary in small talk, which she gracefully tiptoed around.

Lady Edith was eying Mr. Matthew and sighing wistfully, wanting so badly to take her sister's place at the table. William felt a pang of sadness when he thought of Lady Edith's situation.

Thomas and William stood stiffly in their uniforms while the family ate. They were eating painfully slowly that night and William was so hungry himself. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Thomas tug at his starched collar. As soon as Lady Grantham had finished her chocolate tart, Lord Grantham asked:

"Shall we retire to the drawing room?" William smiled inwardly now he and Thomas could have dinner and relax the rest of the evening. Lady Grantham rose and smiled as she took Lady Mary's hand, which rested on the table. Lady Mary looked up at her and stood up abruptly from her seat. Jerking her hand away she spun around quickly and tried to walk away from the table, but her foot caught in the hem of her dress. William saw her fall in slow motion. Mr. Matthew was saying something to Lady Edith and couldn't have done anything. Lady Grantham's hand went out as if to steady her daughter but she couldn't have either. William looked back on his behavior as irrational, Mr. Carson always said: 'Never touch the Ladies.' But in that moment William didn't think of her as Lady Mary, but as someone who was about to hit the marble floor very hard. William caught her under the arms, and hoped no seams had ripped in her dress. The whole room seemed to take in a collaborative gasp. Startled because she hadn't hit the floor, Lady Mary looked up at him her mouth slightly open her eyes staring into his. Then she smiled.

"Oh thank you William," she said righting herself, "If you hadn't been here I would have hit the floor and most likely bashed my head in!" then she laughed, "Come everyone lets go into the drawing room before I fall again."

William stood there feeling his face burn with shame. Why had he done that? Why couldn't he have just let her fall? Then he wouldn't have broken one of Mr. Carson's most important rules. As soon as the family had left, Thomas turned to him, "What the hell was _that_?" he hissed.

"Thomas, please, what William did was prohibited under any other circumstances, but Lady Mary was in the process of falling on the floor. And incase you haven't noticed, this floor is marble. What you did was very kind, William."

"Thank you, Mr. Carson," William said softly. Mr. Carson smiled at him and left the room.

"Oh look, he's blushing," Thomas mocked and William's face reddened even more.

†

"Cousin Mary? Would you care to accompany me to the fair tomorrow evening by any chance?" Mary's head snapped up as she heard Matthew's words. She wanted to scream, but she cleared her throat as she composed an answer.

"Tomorrow night? Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I promised Anna to a game of 'Coconut toss'. I terribly sorry, maybe another time though." She plastered a fake smile on her face and cursed herself for having to add the last part.

"Oh, that would be wonderful! Maybe we could take a picnic by the river?"

"Fine," Mary smiled sweetly and turned to Sybil, "Sybil, darling, will you tell Mama that I've gone up I'm feeling rather tiered." Mary stood up and added, "Goodnight all!" as she left the room. Closing the door she suddenly felt very heavy and old. She made her way into the hallway and lifting her skirts, clamored up the stairs.

On her way into her room she bumped into several chairs, promoting tears to spill out of her eyes. Running into her room Mary slammed the door and locked it. She took of her earrings and pulled at her hair, which cascaded down her shoulders in a matter of seconds. She ripped off the necklace that had been a gift from Matthew. The beads went everywhere and for a second Mary regretted doing it, but as soon as she remembered Matthew's invitation she smirked. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and dripping khol, her cheeks flushed. Her dress was askew, and her right shoulder exposed more than it should be. Mary smiled.

"Too bad." Then she slipped off her shoes and stockings and ran outside again. She ran through the hallways until she found the servants staircase. She quietly slipped down and was about to go into Mr. Carson's office but she realized that she would have to go past the servants' dining room. Mary cursed and headed back up the stairs and around to the back door. Quietly Mary opened Mr. Carson's heavy door and held it open with a book. Then she tiptoed to the keys and took the one to the pantry. Mary cringed as the key scraped along the sides of the keyhole, and then prayed the door wouldn't creak. She opened it only a little and held her breath and she squeezed in. Finally, she was in the pantry! Mary let her eyes adjust to the darkness as then she searched for the correct idem. As soon as she had found it she grabbed the bottle of brandy from the shelf and went back the way she had come.

Mary leaned on the back door, letting the cool night air blow on her face. Taking the bottle opener she had also "borrowed", she pulled at the cork. It finally came loose with a sickening "pop" and Mary lifted the bottle to her lips, took three deep mouthfuls and slid down the door to sit on the ground. Mary thoughts drifted to all the people she hated right now. She hated her parents and the way they thought about marriage. _A sip_. She hated Matthew and Cousin Isobel and how they had come to Downton and inserted themselves in her life. _Another sip_. She hated Matthew even more for wanting her. _Another_. She hated Edith for being so… Edith and Sybil for being so clueless. _And another_. Why hadn't she just fallen at dinner? If she had hit her head she could have gone up to her room and Matthew would never have asked her to the blasted fair! _Just one more_. And she wouldn't be sitting out here alone and drowning her problems in alcohol. _Okay, two more_. Why hadn't William let her fall? This was all his fault. Mary raised the bottle to her lips and took another chug, and felt the liquid burn her throat. She coughed and tried to get up but her head felt light and a pain had started behind her eyes. She went to drink again, but realized the bottle was empty. Angry, Mary threw the bottle down and it smashed on the bricks. Her mind felt hazy and she knew she had to get back to her room before anyone saw her. She stumbled to the front door and opened it. She could hear her female family members in the drawing room and her father and Matthew in the library. She ran across the threshold and quickly stumbled up the stairs heading towards her room. Suddenly she felt very tiered. Mary leaned up against the wall and rubbed her eyes.

"Lady Mary are you alright?" Mary spun around. The figure in front of her was holding a candle and was fuzzy, but even through her headache she could see who it was. William.

†

William had taken the position as hall boy because Harry had taken ill, and he had hoped that he wouldn't run into anyone, especially her. But here she was standing in front of him her eyes squinted in pain.

Lady Mary looked at him for a second, blinked, and then said:

"W-William?" her voice was hoarse and a little slurred. She held her head, "I don't feel well."

"What hurts, m'lady?" William asked resisting the urge to help her stand. _Never touch the Ladies_. Mr. Carson's words rang in his ears.

"Everything. I think I… I had a little too much Br-randy," Lady Mary closed her eyes and exhaled, "It hurts."

"But we didn't serve Brandy at dinner…" All of a sudden William realized what happened, Lady Mary had stolen some from the stores, she had done it in the past, "All right. Let's get you back to your room."

"But you're not allowed there!" Mary said indignity pushing him away as he stepped closer.

"I'm not going in, I'm just going to make sure you get there safely. All right?" William hoped that she wouldn't scream.

Instead she straitened her shoulders, "All right." William walked a few feet behind her, following down the hall. Lady Mary's stride became noticeably slower as she came closer to her bedroom and stumbled a few times. About a few feet from her room, Lady Mary tripped, and William for the second time that night broke a rule. When he tried to stand her up, she collapsed again. Horrified William realized she had fallen asleep. Now what was he gong to do? Here he was holding Lady Mary limp body and he was standing in front of her room. William sighed, then he opened the door to her room, trying to hold Lady Mary. As he surveyed the room he noticed Lady Mary's nightgown draped over a chair. William froze. Looking down at her peaceful face he thought there was no way he was dressing her.

William placed her in the bed and pulled the covers over her sleeping body. He resisted smoothing her hair into place as he left the room. Suddenly, Lady Mary's hand shot out from under the covers and grabbed his arm. He turned around to find her sitting up in bed even though her eyes were closed.

"Kemal? Is that you?" she asked, her voice high and lofty. Why did she think he was Mr. Pamuk?

"No, Lady Mary, it's William." He tried to free his hand but she only held on tighter. Lady Mary's eyes fluttered open and she slipped out of bed. As she came closer he could smell the alcohol on her breath and clothes.

"Even better." The words made William's heart drop into his stomach. Lady Mary's hands snaked around his neck, as he stood there briefly paralyzed.

"N-No, stop it!" He whispered harshly taking her arms away from his neck. Her eyes filled with tears.

"But William!" Her voice was whiny then suddenly cold, "You can't tell me what to do!"

"M'lady, please…" He put her hands down by her sides and tried to step back.

"My name is Mary! Just Mary!" She bellowed flapping her arms, her face turning redder than it already was.

"Alright. You're drunk and I shouldn't be here. If they catch me here I will be in a lot of trouble. Please let me leave." Lady Mary looked up at him with her big brown eyes that looked so much like Daisy's. His breath caught in his throat. Lady Mary took her chance: she kissed him. He must have murmured something along the lines of 'no.'

But in that moment, with his guard down, he found himself kissing her back.

†

Mary woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Her breath tasted of stale liquor and the sunlight flitting through her windows burned her eyes. Mary groaned and turned over to reach her bell. She pressed it and fell back against her pillows holding her head.

Anna came in a few minutes later her hair neatly pinned up and her apron freshly starched.

"Good morning m'lady!" she chirped. Mary cringed and covered her ears.

"Please, Anna, not so loud."

"Oh dear, someone has a hangover. What did you drink last night?" Anna stood at the foot of her bed hands on her hips. Mary raised her head and squinted.

"I just had a few glasses of brandy," Anna raised an eyebrow but questioned no further, "Can I have my breakfast up here?" She added hopefully.

"I suppose so, I'll tell his lordship that you're not feeling quite yourself." Mary managed a smile.

"Thank you, Anna." As Anna headed towards the door Mary asked, "Can I also have some smelling salts, please?" Anna nodded and smiled, leaving the room.

What had she done the night before to end up so sick the next morning? She remembered Matthew's invitation and stealing the brandy, but not much else. Then how did she get into her room? And why did she have butterflies floating around in her stomach? She tried hard to remember what had happened. She remembered William standing in the hallway with a candle, and him helping her back to her room. She also remembered being very warm and seeing Kemal at one point. She pushed back the heavy covers and stood up, she was still in her dress from the night before. She saw her reflection in the mirror and gasped. Her hair was mused and her dress was rumpled and the bottom buttons on her bodice were undone. Almost all her lipstick was gone even though she had applied it only hours before she had come up. She noticed that her nightgown was still neatly laid out on her chair. She cursed herself for being stupid enough to sleep in her clothes. Mary let out an annoyed breath and looked out the window. The sundial in the front yard read 10:30. Mary's eyes widened. How could she have possibly slept that late? Why didn't anyone wake her up?

Quickly she changed into a new dress. A white one with a blue flowered belt and long sleeves. She ran a brush through her hair and cleaned her face once with a tissue. Neatly she pinned a white hat to her head and pulled on a matching white jacket with blue buttons. She slipped on her shoes and opened the door.

As she ran out she passed Anna in the hallway.

"Oh Anna can you leave the tray on the bed and I'll have the smelling salts later." Mary headed down the stairs.

"But m'lady…!" Mary turned around.

"Yes Anna?"

"Are you sure you are feeling better?" Anna whispered.

"Oh yes of course! I'll eat later." Mary said waving at Anna as she flew down the stairs and into the entrance hall. As Mary walked into the breakfast room she heard her father talking with her mother.

"Should we worry about Mary? She hasn't woken yet." But Cora dismissed him.

"I sent Anna up just now to check on her. Let her sleep if she wants to she wasn't feeling too well last night."

"Do you think she was light headed? She tripped in the dining room; if William hadn't been there she would have been severely injured." Robert said concern seeping into his voice.

"Oh I don't know about severely," Cora said sipping her tea.

"Good morning!" Mary said seeing a break in the conversation allowing her to make her entrance.

"Here she is Darling, see I told you there was nothing to worry about. How did you sleep Mary dear?" her mother asked, "Did you get any breakfast?"

"I slept like a baby. But I'm not hungry at all so I will have something later," Mary turned to leave and then struck with a sudden thought she asked, "Papa? Could I borrow a book?"

"Only if you use the ledger," Robert responded not looking up from his newspaper.

"Thank you," Mary said. She left the dining room and crossed the entrance hall once more into the library. As she browsed the shelves she heard a door open and shut. As she wheeled around she saw William standing in the open doorway.

"I'm so sorry, m'lady, I thought that there was no one on here, I just came to clear the glasses. If you want I'll come back later," as he spoke a slight blush crept onto his cheeks.

"No, no, I don't mind, I'm just looking for a book, could you recommend one?" Mary turned to look at him.

"M-Me?" He stood there with a tray carrying two empty glasses blushing furiously. Mary nodded.

"I have heard _Oliver Twist_ is especially good, his Lordship is very fond of it and I have often seen Mr. Carson with a copy." Mary smiled at him.

"Very well, _Oliver Twist_ it is then," Mary turned back to the shelves, "By the way do you by any chance know who was meeting with Lord Grantham?"

"I believe it was Mr. Crawley who was here." Suddenly, Mary felt very cold.

"Oh? Do you know what they were talking about?"

"No, m'lady I didn't take notice," William turned towards the door.

†

"What's up with you today?" Thomas asked him at lunch.

"Nothing, why?" William said pushing the potatoes around in his soup.

"Just because you've been blushing scarlet all day and haven't heard anything of what I just said to you." Thomas' stare was one of many from the other staff.

"Don't pretend to care, besides it's none of you're business," William shifted his weight in the chair and tried to cover his face with his hand. Suddenly there was a squeal.

"Someone's got a girl!" Gwen said excitedly from across the table.

"Do not!" William felt his face deepen in color.

"Ooh yes you do! I can tell! What's her name? Tell us, please!" Gwen looked at him expectantly, as did the rest of the table. Sadly Mr. Bates wasn't there to stand up for him. William sighed.

"I don't think that a kiss makes her 'my girl.'" A teacup clattered at the end of the table.

"A kiss?" Daisy squeaked.

"Judging by the color of his face, I'd say more than one." The whole table gasped. Thomas smirked and William sighed again.

"It's none of your business."

"Tell us her name at least," O'Brien said irritably, obviously board by the topic.

"No!" William stood up abruptly knocking Thomas' teacup out of his hands.

"Now look what you did you silly clout!" William didn't hear him though he was already half way out the door. He rushed through the kitchen and out the delivery entrance. He breathed heavily into the slight breeze, which felt nice on his flushed face. Walking along the along the side of the house he wondered weather Lady Mary would ever remember what she had done. Probably not.

Sighing he looked up at the bright blue sky and tried to make out shapes in the clouds.

"William?" Anna's voice wafted in through the door, "William?" She appeared in front of him, "William, Gwen didn't mean any harm, she's just curious. We all are; it's amazing that you could get by Mr. Carson." Anna rubbed his arm.

"Mr. Carson isn't the problem." William mumbled, "Anna I don't know what to do. She doesn't remember anything!" William buried his face in his hands.

"What do you mean she doesn't remember anything?" Anna said wrapping her arms around him.

"She was drunk!" the words were out of William's mouth before he could do anything about it. He looked down at Anna in horror, "Oh no! I didn't mean to…" but Anna wasn't listening, her face had become pale.

"Lady Mary?" she whispered. William looked at the ground trying not to say anything else, "Sweet Mary Mother of God! Why?"

"It's not my fault! It wasn't! I swear! I said she was drunk. She wasn't thinking properly, and now she saw me in the library and she asked me to recommend a book, like nothing had happened and like she hadn't a care in the world."

"I'm sure she will remember, you're a hard thing to forget."

"Please don't tell Thomas," he pleaded.

"I wasn't planning to," as she said this they both heard the bell ring, "Well I've got to go, see you later." Anna bolted into the building. William lingered behind.

"So did you get it out of him?" William cringed at the sound of O'Brien's high-pitched drawl.

"Mind your own affairs _Miss O'Brien_." Anna snapped back. William smiled; it was so nice to have Anna as a friend.

"Don't be so snippy, I have a right to ask." He could hear O'Brien inhale some smoke, and William involuntarily coughed.

A few minutes later William was following Thomas to the dining room to set out food. He held the Orange- Glazed Chicken close to his body so he could have some warmth. After he had placed the chicken in its place next to the rice salad he turned to follow Thomas out of the room.

As he passed the window he saw Lady Mary on the bench underneath the beech tree reading the book he had suggested.

†

"Mary, Darling, why didn't you come in for lunch?" Cora seated herself next to Mary on the bench.

"Oh dear, is it already that late, I still have to eat breakfast." Mary smiled at her mother and closed her book. Her headache was disappearing and she felt better than she had the night before. She had no idea why, but today she was in a fabulous mood.

"Mary I wish you would tell me why you are in such good spirits. Please? Did you get a letter from a eligible man?"

"Oh no Mother, nothing like that, I just slept well that's it." Mary tried to get up but Cora caught her arm.

"Carson told us that a bottle of brandy was missing," Mary paled, "I told him that maybe he miscounted."

"Maybe he did," said Mary dismissively.

"Mary," Cora looked into her daughter's eyes, "Mary, I know it was you." Mary laughed stiffly.

"And how do you know that?"

"William told me." Mary's head snapped up, her face burned with shame.

"What does he know?" Mary scoffed fingering her book nervously. What _did _he know that she didn't? What wasn't she remembering?

"He knows that you were very drunk last night and that he helped you back to your room."

"He came inside?" Mary asked shocked.

"No he helped you to the door." Mary nodded dumbly and continued to trace the cover of _Oliver Twist_, "What are you reading?"

"Oh, just Papa's copy of _Oliver Twist_, William…" Mary stared off into space trailing of at her own mention of his name. Cora looked at her knowingly.

"What about William?" she asked gently. Mary shook herself and smiled at her mother.

"Just that he recommended it," Mary stood up from the bench, "I think I'm going to eat the breakfast that Anna brought up for me. Mary hurried along leaving Cora on the bench alone.

Once in her room, Mary took off her jacket and her hat. As promised, Anna had left the tray on her bed. She walked to it and gingerly picked up a crumpet. She bit into it and she suddenly felt very hungry. She ate the rest and then devoured the fruit. Satisfied she sat down in her chair and gazed in the mirror. She looked better than she had this morning, though she still had slight bags under her eyes.

Why had William told her mother about the brandy? What had exactly happened? Mary stood up and started to unzip her dress. She remembered the brandy… and the candle. She remembered seeing William… yelling at William… holding on to William… kissing William…

Mary dropped the comb she was holding. It fell to the wood floor and made a large bang. No, no, no, no! She couldn't have! Not _William_! Mary pressed her hands to her cheeks and breathed heavily.

"Calm down, Mary, I'm sure that's all it was," she laughed weakly, "Just a kiss." She flopped down on her bed and screamed. She heard running down the hall and Thomas opened the door. She looked at him innocently.

"Oh m'lady you scared me I thought there was something wrong," he said straightening his jacket.

"Thomas?" She asked all of a sudden getting very quiet, "Do you know where William would be right now?"

"On break in the village, he has the rest of the day off," Thomas said.

"Thank you Thomas, you may go." He nodded and left. As soon as the door was closed she changed into a plain, gray dress with a high neckline and a cinched waist. She crammed a gray hat on her head and pulled on a coat that was so old and out of style she was sure nobody would remember it. Mary pulled open the door and slipped quietly down the staircase in search of William.

†

The smell of horses always reminded William of his family and the town where he grew up. He loved to pet them and look into their big, all-knowing eyes. Being around horses made William feel comfortable. As he stroked a black horse's nose he thought about Lady Mary.

Maybe he was over-reacting. Lady Mary was drunk for Christ's sake! She was not thinking properly!

But then the thought of Mary's hands around his neck and the smell of her perfume sent shivers down his spine. She had kissed him once and then said how upset she was about having to marry and wished she could just love someone freely and openly. And then she kissed him again… and again and again.

William shook his head, ashamed. If Thomas, or Mr. Carson, or Lord Grantham _ever_ found out he would be fired before he could say: "She was drunk."

He leaned his head against the horse's and it snorted softly. He hadn't known what to do. He'd never had a girl pursue him before. And he didn't know weather or not Lady Mary had had a serious suitor in her life at one point, though he supposed it.

William pulled at his collar, it really was hot, especially in the barn. The heat had come in from the south with absolutely no wind to go with it. Flies settled on the village like a cloud of dust. What a fine thing for the fair! William thought dryly. Thomas had spoiled his time at the fair, with Daisy hanging onto his every word. As well as Gwen encouraging them! He had seen Mrs. Hughes at the fair and he hoped her time was better spent than his.

"William?" a feminine voice rang sharply through the spacious barn. William took a chance glancing upwards. Lady Mary stood there in a striking gray dress and looking ghastly pale, her expression told William why she had come.

"William," she said starting again and stepping into the barn, "I am so sorry." Her eyes begged for forgiveness that he couldn't help but give to her.

"There's no need to apologize," William answered, petting the horse one last time.

"Yes there is," Lady Mary took a shaky breath, "I was way out of line, and even though I had no control of myself I still feel I should be held accountable for my actions. Again, I am sorry." Lady Mary looked down at her hands. She sounded so _formal_.

"I forgive you," William said shrugging his shoulders, it's not as though he had a choice.

"Y-You d-do?" She sputtered, looking completely flabbergasted.

"Of course," He said crossing his arms, his guard up and ready, just in case.

"But why?" she sounded so confused and frightened; William's heart broke.

"Because where would the world be if nobody forgave each other?" Lady Mary looked up at him and smiled, a beautiful, dazzling smile. A real smile.

"I suppose you're right," she frowned, "I hope we can still be friends."

"Where we ever?" William chuckled softly and butterflies erupted in his stomach. Lady Mary was silent for a long time. Finally William cleared his throat.

"I just have to tell you something…" He started.

"Yes what is it?" Lady Mary raised her dark, heavy eyes to his. William took a deep breath,

"You're the first person I've ever kissed," he quickly looked down at the floorboards. Lady Mary gasped but answered calmly.

"I wish I could say the same, I made a stupid mistake earlier this year: and I was sober." They both laughed.

"Friends?" he stuck out his hand. Lady Mary hesitated a moment, looking from his face to his hand. Finally her face relaxed into a smile.

"Friends."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'll try to update this as soon as possible but due to a little thing called homework I might be swamped for the next week... and yeah...

Also if you liked this please review, if you didn't please review, if you have a question, comment, concern, or political insight... PLEASE REVIEW. :)


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